ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
