i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
