Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
