Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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