would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
