your room smells of hookers.
And success
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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