thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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