i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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