Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
