She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
