My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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