I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
