"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
