Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize