I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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