She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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