swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
two words...techno handjob
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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