I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Did you just see the Batmobile???
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
