I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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