their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I looked at my own cervix.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize