Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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