so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
