i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
