belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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