I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
