He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
