I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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