That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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