I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
