wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
