my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
