woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
