When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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