absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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