I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
