he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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