Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I believe in your delicious
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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