Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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