If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
