Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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