Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
