Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
