I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You left your underwear on the fireplace
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
