Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
