And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
