we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
