ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
