The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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