Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
