My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize