apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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