Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
