i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
