You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
