he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found the puke drawer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
