No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize