I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
