my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize