Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
