Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont even know how to be here
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
