We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Umm I'm too high to move.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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