David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize