Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

literally had 100 drinks last night.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.

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(281): View more from Texas

Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles

(205): View more from Alabama

for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college

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(440): View more from Ohio

You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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(330): View more from Ohio

im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively

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