forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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