How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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