Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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