is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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