what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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