i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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